When the honeymoon is over.

So what happens after those two or three years are over and that newlywed/honeymoon feeling is slowly starting to fade? You see the homemade cards and poems slowly disappearing and the romantic doings are far and few between now. What do you do then? Is that it? The end of the honeymoon? Now you're in the comfortable stage. Where you promise that next year you'll make something for Valentines day or next year we'll go out for dinner, but it never actually happens.

What do you do then? Do you force that honeymoon phase into another year or do you accept the fact and keep going? Do you reminisce about those days when everything was so blissful and amazing? What if relationships were just that, the honeymoon phase. You date for a couple of years until that phase stats to die out a bit and then shake hands, say it's been fun and move on. Sounds kind of nice.

What if you CAN have both, the honeymoon phase AND the comfortable settled in phase. That's gotta be the perfect relationship and I'm sure it's out there. Kudos to you if you have that.

This guy is my Valentine this year. Marcus Mumford from Mumford & Sons. He's a dreamboat.

wait it does exist!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singles_Awareness_Day


Singles Day does exist. Except it needs to share the same day as Valentines day, which is kind of lame. I think it deserves a whole other day.

fu v-day.

So it's 12:21 which means it is now Valentines Day. I am starting this day off with listening to some Hayden which is depressing me a little.

I think this day is a load of crap. Really. It's a stupid holiday to put pressure on couples (mostly men) to go out and buy generic crappy stuffed animals, crappy heart shaped chocolate and overly expensive flowers. Wow, sounds fun. It's a day to shower your love for your partner and to express how you feel with a Hallmark card. If you don't, you're in trouble. Why is it that you have to do this stuff on this specific day? Why not every day or one day a month? It's a load of crap.

So why am I feeling depressed and lonely? Why am I being that bitter cynical girl? Am I jealous that someone is not showering me with all that cheap crap? Maybe. Maybe it's cause this day is to rub it in single people's faces. "HEY YOU. SINGLE PERSON, YOU DON'T GET TO PARTAKE IN THIS DAY CAUSE YOU HAVE NO ONEEEEEEEEEEEEE". What are single people supposed to do on this day? Why not have a Single's day? Huh! Where's that day?

Ok, I'm getting a bit aggressive here (doesn't help that Hole just came on my itunes).

I think it's just a waste of money for couples and for singles it's just a smack in the face. (not that being single is bad, cause it's not, but when you're newly single, it's bad)

So go out and buy nothing. Act like it's not V-day. Go shower your loved one with candy next month. Go do all those mushy things next week. Don't use this day because society tells you too. Don't give in.

I'm going to go out tomorrow and ignore everyone and celebrate the fact that I'm single and that's fine.

i heart nyc.

The one thing I really really love is New York City and I romanticize it. This clip from Woody Allen's "Manhattan" describes it all for me. I've had this love for this city since I was 17 years old. The one thing I dream and fantasize over is living there and being successful. Some dream about getting married and having kids, I dream about living there. I can honestly say, I <3> NY.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0o6QKpNK9Cc

i will love you forever.

When I see elder's in love, it warms my heart so much. It gives me hope that love does last forever. I feel so cynical about love in this time and age. With so many divorces, people cheating, etc. it's like, does real love actually exist? When I see older couples walking hand in hand, it puts a smile on my face instantly. To think this couple has probably been together for 30+ years. They've stuck by each other through the worst of things and the best of things. They've managed to put every thing aside and just love each other no matter what. To me that is the most romantic thing in the world. Still so much in love that they're holding hands after all those years. That is romance to me. That gives me hope that true love still exists.

(but when i watch everybody loves raymond i get discouraged again. ha!)

everybody loves....

I know this show is fake and obviously just a show for entertainment but it's the most depressing relationship I've ever witnessed. This is why I'm afraid of getting married... because of loveless marriages.

I'm not even sure if they're supposed to even be in love in this show but if I were in a marriage like this, I'd want out.

Imagine being married to a woman who nags, bitches, and get's mad at everything the husband does. Like in the show, she get's mad at him every time he wants to go golfing. I know there's probably millions of relationships like this in real life and it's sad. How come someone wont let their loved one do something they enjoy?

Just like the show, there's tons of couples that stay together because they feel like they have too. There's obviously no love involved but just existance. Because it's comfortable. Because of kids.

The episode today was about how she wanted to go on a little weekend vacation and he didn't want too and was afraid he would have to be alone with her all weekend and have to actually talk to her. This is sad, because it's real life.

I would feel so unfulfilled and empty if the man I was with didn't want to talk to me and everything always felt so forced. This show emphasizes on being a comedy but to me it's a tear jerker. This show and marriages like these scare me about getting married. I understand not all relationships are this empty and sad but I never want to be in a relationship like this. Seeing as there are so many like this one, I would hate to be one.

jealousy is a disease.

How do you go about not being jealous after a break-up? When you're ex goes out and doesn't invite you, when he talks about other girls, or when he doesn't act the same way towards you, it's hard not to get jealous. When at one point you did everything together and didn't ask if it was okay to come, now you have to make sure it's okay if you come along or go to the same social gatherings, etc., it's quite of an adjustment. Do you just have to grin and bear it and suck it up, realize this is life and you just have to move on? How do you deal with it though?

Jealousy is one of my weaknesses. I don't know how not to get jealous. So it's hard to deal with this. Right now it's okay, it's under control because he's not dating anyone or looking, but once that happens it's going to be a whole other story.

I guess in this case it's just a form of rejection, in a way. Because there's not much to be jealous about but when you're left alone and he's out, it feels more of rejection than jealousy. Though why is it okay for me to go out and I feel fine about that but how does that make him feel?

smile even though you're heart is breaking.

So after 6 1/2 years of being with my boyfriend we decided it was best to just be friends and do our own thing. We're still living in our apartment together, he has his own room and I have mine. We still hang out and talk but I think the title and pressure of being in a couple is gone. It's a good decision. It was hard, but it needed to be done.

It got me thinking of other couples and what their relationship is really like. Lot's of couples look happy but are they really? In our relationship we weren't unhappy but we weren't the greatest either. I'm sure in a year we'd be really unhappy if we were still together and things were still the same. We were mostly just staying together because it was comfortable and all we knew. I feel bad for couples that stay together for this reason, or because they can't break up (obligations, house, kids, etc).

As much as it hurts at times and the thought of him going out and doing things without me, or dating someone else, it's for the best. I know I'm going to have to deal with feeling alone and stuff, but I know as time goes on that feeling will subside. I'm kind of looking forward to being single. Kind of.

The thought of dating doesn't appeal to me right now. The thought of meeting some random guy is scary and weird to me. I don't know how to flirt and do all that kind of stuff. I got with my boyfriend when I was 19 and we met so naturally. We hung out a bit at a local venue and just got together that way. No weird awkward dating. I don't know how to do the date thing, especially being much older now.

It's all so weird to me but I know it will work out and things will fall into place. I just have to focus on why we broke up, how we needed to and know things will be okay in a couple of months (hopefully).

This blog will be mostly about relationships, dating, break-ups, hook-ups and what I notice about couples that I see together. I guess I'm kind of copying Carrie from Sex & the City, oh well, I'm probably not the only one.